Shock As Husband Prioritizes Female Friend Over Wife on Their Anniversary
A husband has been slammed for prioritizing his friend over his wife on their anniversary.
In a viral Reddit post, U/nooneecares23, wrote about how her husband forgot about their anniversary and planned a road trip with his best friends Sasha, both 30.
Newsweek reached out to a relationship expert who commented on the post, which received over 18,900 upvotes.
The original poster (OP) mentioned Sasha has been best friends with her husband "since they were in diapers" but she never had a problem with their friendship until she began dating him.
There are a few reasons why husbands may choose to hang out with their friends rather than their spouses, according to the blog Marriage Talk Spot.
He may have more in common with friends or they might make him feel more alive and comfortable. Whatever the reason is, "the first step is to talk to your husband about how it makes you feel. This may not be easy, but it's essential to communicate with your husband. He may not even realize how much time he's spending with his friends and how it's affecting you."
The Redditor explained the courting phase of her relationship, she said: "Sasha would always try and get between us, and on every date, we went on she was there coincidentally which was relatively annoying because my husband would let her stay with us on all those dates."
The couple have now been together five years and it was their wedding anniversary on October 19. But her husband had forgotten and planned a road trip with Sasha instead.
She wrote: "I didn't know about this road trip until he said he was leaving. I didn't bother telling him it was our anniversary since he didn't remember and he would probably still spend the day with Sasha even if he did know."
The OP explains she received a call from her mother-in-law whilst shopping.
"[She] asked where my husband was because he wasn't answering his phone. I told her the truth about his whereabouts and he didn't remember our anniversary. She was shocked and said to me that she didn't think Sasha and my husband still had feelings for each other. I asked what did she mean. She said that they did date in high school but my husband told me that he never did like Sasha romantically."
"Everything started becoming more clear now. Maybe he did remember our anniversary but chose not to say anything because he loved Sasha. If he loved her, he could have told me before we got married. I would have been hurt but I understand feelings and I know you can't control them. I don't know how to comprehend anything right now. I'm numb and I don't get it. All I know is that my husband doesn't even love me," she wrote.
Newsweek spoke to relationship coach Carrie Jeroslow who hosts her own podcast called 'Relationship Diversity'.
She said: "Intimate relationships exist physically, as well as emotionally. So, there could be a relationship with the "friend" that crosses the boundaries of the couple's agreement even if there is no physical connection.
"Your partner's priorities and actions will be a determining factor in how they view their relationship with their 'friend.' Where do their priorities land? In the Reddit article, it's clear that his priority is with his friend and not his wife. Missing his anniversary to go on a trip with his friend is a very clear statement of who he prioritizes. His decision and actions show a lack of respect for his wife and their marriage."
"But the fundamental problem in that scenario is (it sounds like) they have never communicated openly about this aspect of their relationship. It sounds like they haven't developed and communicated clear boundaries and expectations with each other. This is both of their responsibilities.
"If he came into the relationship with his 'girl/friend' and it was a non-negotiable relationship, he should have communicated that from the very beginning so that she could have made the decision of whether she wanted to move forward in the relationship at that time. She also should have communicated from the beginning of their relationship about her desires and needs of being his priority."
"Communication with yourself and with your partner is the foundation of every healthy relationship. Without it, there will be continual pain and heartbreak, regardless of what the actual trigger may be."
What Do The Comments Say?
The top comment has received more than 21,000 upvotes, it said: "Yooooo I bet Sasha remembered your anniversary."
Another said: "You just described an emotional affair."
Newsweek reached out to u/nooneecares23 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
Have you noticed any red flags that made you end a relationship? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
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